The thing about asexuality is it doesn’t exist in absolutes-you either experience sexual attraction or you don’t. “You also do not have to have tried sex to know that you’re asexual, just like you don’t have to have had sex to know that you’re straight, etc.” The Asexuality Spectrum What’s important to note is if you have previously enjoyed sex and now you’ve lost interest, it could be due to many factors, including medication side effects, health issues, stress, an unsafe relationship, body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, hormonal changes, trauma, and so on-it does not mean you are necessarily asexual, Eckler says. “It’s not clear, however, if that is simply because younger generations have been able to learn that asexuality is a valid option if they’re just more comfortable disclosing their preferences, or if something else is causing that difference.”
While it’s estimated that between 1% and 4% of the population are asexual, higher rates are more often found in surveys of younger people, Eckler adds. Part of the equation for figuring it out involves taking a long hard look at how you’ve generally felt about sex, how you’ve responded to sexual activity (if you have had any), how you feel when other people talk about sex, or how you see sexual content on TV/movies, Eckler says. Take Gender Dysphoria Quiz TakeChild Gender Dysphoria QuizĬoming to the conclusion you are asexual often takes introspection. Take one or our 2-minute quizzes to see if you may benefit from further diagnosis and treatment. “They may have spent years feeling like there was something wrong with them.”Ĭould You or Your Child Have Gender Dysphoria? Some people, on the other hand, don’t realize it until they are older because they didn’t know it was even an option, says Austin Texas-based clinical psychologist Jo Eckler, PsyD, RYT, author of I Can’t Fix You-Because You’re Not Broken, who goes by the pronouns they/them. “Before that people just felt ashamed and kept it to themselves usually,” she adds. “Usually this is followed by a period of time when the person thinks it ‘just hasn’t happened yet’ or ‘the right person hasn’t come along,’ etc.” But, keep in mind, an asexual identity has only been a cultural ‘thing’ for about 20 years or so. Asexuality may first become apparent in adolescence when a teenager’s peers are experiencing sexual desire and they aren’t, Nichols says. There isn’t a test to determine it, rather, it’s what a person feels at their very core.
DYSMORPH GAY SEX GAME HOW TO
How to Know If You’re AsexualĪsexuality, like gender, is an identity (remember gender identity is separate from assigned gender, the gender you have at birth).
Others, while not enjoying or desiring sexual activity, may have some types of intimate partner contact. Some asexual people may have romantic feelings, or be attracted to other people for nonsexual reasons, and may form intimate partnerships (emotional connection through deep conversations, for example) that simply do not have sex as a culmination of their feelings (just as some sexual people do not develop romantic feelings for their sexual partners). One thing researchers have learned about all of us while studying asexuality is that for some people, whether they are sexual or asexual, sex and romance are not necessarily connected. What it doesn’t mean, is that those who identify as such are celibate monks living on a mountain top it’s not a pledge of abstinence, and it’s not a choice, either. While being asexual in and of itself is not a disorder when it causes someone distress, mental health experts view it in the context of a disorder. “Some are one hundred percent without sexual attraction some feel it weakly or very occasionally,” she says.īecause it’s not black and white and can shift over time, asexuality is recognized by researchers as an orientation that’s often misunderstood-despite being classified in the DSM-5 as a disorder. What’s key, however, is that asexuality exists on a spectrum. “Asexuality (ace for short) refers to the absence of sexual attraction to others,” says Margaret Nichols, PhD, president of Nichols Counseling and Psychotherapy in New Jersey and founder/president emeritus of the Institute for Personal Growth. Sexual attraction and desire can be highly subjective and intimacy can take a variety of forms. But just like a deck of playing cards, the rules can vary depending on the game.
Insider fact: Asexuality is also known as Ace for short. Jump to: How to Know If You're Asexual The Spectrum of Asexuality Causes of Asexuality Arousal and Attraction Talking to Children and Teens FAQs Helpful Resources